Most of the times I think who am I? & what have I done in my life till date?
Everytime I get ONLY a negative answer from my self & then I start thinking
as to why am I like this and start putting blames on God & even my parents.
Blaming my parents in this regard is a sin, yet I instead jot down how should
I be in rearing my children, if it happens!
Is it all worthwhile? This question then screws my mind and after all these
personal traumatic(!!) questions ,when I look at the time 3 to 4 hours would
have passed by without any serious answers. The problem with me is that
I am not an out-standing student in my academics ; studied just in a B-grade
college; my school-life isn't either a great one. I am NOT city-bred.
I didn't figure out my personal talent yet. But does this all matter?
My parents curse me for not being sociable; for not respecting them; for not
doing things-which-doesn't-suit-me. I've got a heavy, perennial(!!!) doses of
advises and curses from my mom.
Though I am eager to come out of this personal inferno, there comes the
issue of pessimistic view that thwarts me. I've advised many of my friends...
'do that', 'be confident' etc but I cannot groom myself better. I admire multi-
talented personalities but whenever I see them cobwebs of inferiority
surrounds me & I get depressed. I blame my parents -for not nurturing my
talents, instead concentrating solely on my only sister. I start blaming God
for being partial in His creation.
Also I feel that I am weak in making friends. I am damn plainly open & I've
lost many friends for the sole reason that I am too frank. I don't have a
matured-etiquette in socializing; I am weak in accosting but I can give a big
smile or a big grin too!! Whatever be, I have a very thin circle of close friends
but I dont know whether that is a perfect symbiosis.
Well visitors...I am still a novice in writing. I am on a 'mission' to have a blog
of my own. So please bear with my drab, pointless & tedious attempts.
About Me
- Musings of an amateur writer
- An ebullient guy who luvs sleep. "C'est la Vie" is his policy. He is going in search of his lost camaraderie! He hates systematism & planning as if he becomes a slave to Time..
6 comments:
Oh my god! what a post! hmmm...its hard to imagine so many feelings of such depth inside you!...it makes u look more human..more mature than just a silly cousin...wow. i've had some similar feelings too...the whole pessimism thing especially.
Correction:
I've got a heavy, perennial(!!!) doses of
advises and curses from my mom.
Omit the "a"
by the way, AWESOME shirt in that pic.
Hey, this is the age when we fail to understand our parents sacrifice. U needn worry. jus get along with life.U said u beleive in C'est la vie!!
Thank u Siddhu :)
Me too Shriram. I was also like you.. I was a bloke who felt inferior and hated by several people around me (except my family). This bloke din't know how to make friends and dint know how to keep the right distance from friends. I was true to evry friend, but all i got in return was disappoinment and cheating.
I didn't know how to lead a beautiful life, i dint know how to gel well with ppl, i dint know how to spk to ppl who tries to dominate me... and so many "I dint Know"s.
But it was all only till i got placed in a company. After which my life style got changed completely. I was on cloud nine. I learnt how to approach various kinds of ppl. Atlast the mission was possible. Ppl started respecting me.
One more "I dint know". Its,
I dint know how I came out of this inferiority complex. It was killing me. But now am very much happy with the way i live. Cheers Sriram!!! Nothing to worry. You are young. This is the age we need utilse to enjoy to hte core. Dont worry.
Lost friends? Come on, to be frank, my friends circle is too small. I dont believ in friendshp, neither am i interested in it.
Fall in love... That'll take you to heaven...
Cheers,
Vini
hey, nice post.welcome to blogging.and yeah understandable emotions and yeah everybody has their fair share of the same :) makes you look more human. and friends??? hope am in the list of those coveted people too ;)
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