CONFESSIONS OF MY MIND

Most of the times I think who am I? & what have I done in my life till date?
Everytime I get ONLY a negative answer from my self & then I start thinking
as to why am I like this and start putting blames on God & even my parents.
Blaming my parents in this regard is a sin, yet I instead jot down how should
I be in rearing my children, if it happens!

Is it all worthwhile? This question then screws my mind and after all these
personal traumatic(!!) questions ,when I look at the time 3 to 4 hours would
have passed by without any serious answers. The problem with me is that
I am not an out-standing student in my academics ; studied just in a B-grade
college; my school-life isn't either a great one. I am NOT city-bred.
I didn't figure out my personal talent yet. But does this all matter?

My parents curse me for not being sociable; for not respecting them; for not
doing things-which-doesn't-suit-me. I've got a heavy, perennial(!!!) doses of
advises and curses from my mom.

Though I am eager to come out of this personal inferno, there comes the
issue of pessimistic view that thwarts me. I've advised many of my friends...
'do that', 'be confident' etc but I cannot groom myself better. I admire multi-
talented personalities but whenever I see them cobwebs of inferiority
surrounds me & I get depressed. I blame my parents -for not nurturing my
talents, instead concentrating solely on my only sister. I start blaming God
for being partial in His creation.

Also I feel that I am weak in making friends. I am damn plainly open & I've
lost many friends for the sole reason that I am too frank. I don't have a
matured-etiquette in socializing; I am weak in accosting but I can give a big
smile or a big grin too!! Whatever be, I have a very thin circle of close friends
but I dont know whether that is a perfect symbiosis.

Well visitors...I am still a novice in writing. I am on a 'mission' to have a blog
of my own. So please bear with my drab, pointless & tedious attempts.